Posted by: didyouseethis | July 24, 2014

Epiphany 1 and 2

*Wordpress has decided to make the first part of this post one big paragraph and will not let me change it.  Bah.
Confession time:  I am not a cat person.  There…I’ve said it.
Cat F you
I think it started Monday when I went to the big Labyrinth ( trying to write a post…but I keep distracting myself).  Sometime that evening I thought about when Karma cat came to live with us.  The Boy had broken his ankle…had surgery…plates and screws…and drugs.  A “friend” of his brought/snuck Karma in and she never left.  That was 2002.  Six months later Zen cat came to live with us (some relative of Karma’s….her mom was a slut cat).  Zen died in January 2006.  (Things might be different if that hadn’t happened.)  A few months after that The Daughter brought Calvin and Hobbes home.
So…it’s 12 years later.  Calvin’s dead. DH is  dead.  (Things might be different there too.)  Leo’s approach may work for a lot of things.  But I have faked it but not made it.  I don’t hate cats like I used to.  I can even appreciate some amount of cuteness factor.  But if someone came to the door and promised to give Hobbes a great life and all the kitty crack he could devour….he’d be gone as soon as I could  catch him and get him into the carrier.  He does not help my BP.  He bites me.  He does not snuggle.  He tracks litter all over my room.  Everything I own is covered in hair.  Hell, he even “pushes *Little Cat down the stairs.)  (I totally don’t blame him for that.)  He’s an asshole.  To a certain extent I admire him for that…he’s his own cat.  But he gives me very little pleasure and a whole lot of stress.
*The cat owned by the person I am living with for the time being.
I am not a cat person.   I realized quite a while ago that while I love dogs….I was not meant to have one….and probably not a cat either.  Nothing good has ever come of our having any kind of an animal.That was epiphany 1.  Kind of a relief.
Epiphany 2
I find myself saying over and over….mantralike….”I don’t want to be here.”  Name a place…I probably don’t want to be there.So…Monday…while sitting on the lovely English garden bench at the Labyrinth.  The thought came to me…”I WANT to be here”.   And that started a four day train of thought.

My new mantra is…”I want to be somewhere I want to be.”

Long time ago…somewhere read…”What you believe becomes your world”.

So….I believe…maybe….kind of…possibly….there could be…

somewhere I want to  be.

Maybe I will find it before I am too senile to recognize it.


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